the right question

so one day i had to ask the question: well its was a Sunday..

Hi,
How are you?
as i realized that Match.com is a learning experience, i am learning as i go. and yesterday evening i had the chance to think differently the matching process.
As i am trying to match myself with the best compatible person out there, i am also learning about myself.
would you tell me what impression did you have of me during our date?
E

And got the answers below from 3 previous dates:

Elodie,
Thank you for your email and for your voicemail. I am very sorry it's taken me a while to get back to you.
I think you are a tremendously interesting person, and I enjoyed our time together that night. But, I have met someone else and would like to see where that goes. Given how honest you were, I thought the respectful thing to do is to be direct with you.
If you are open to being friends, I would be interested in that particularly given we have some similar interests.
Y.

Hi Elodie,
This is difficult question to answer as I for me these match dates are very difficult to gain much of an impression of a person as I think people are playing safe, maybe not as relaxed of course as if they were with their friends. Having said that you were very easy to talk to, interesting person and open , overall a very good impression certainly nothing bad at all. Now I am curious to know what you thought of me.. perhaps should meet for a drink to discuss
A.

you sound like you are in a strange mood. ;) Well I don't think I can get into that topic without being a little tipsy. Are we still planning on a roof drink...weather permitting?
H

Elodie,
I'm touched you're asking me this. I'll start off by saying that I felt like we didn't "click" during the last date, but, I still like you, and I'd actually like to see you again. There's something about your inner qualities that I'm attracted to. I sense a really beautiful warm heart. But I got the sense you weren't having the best time with me. Maybe it's a cultural thing. I also get the sense that you're a little guarded. I have this hunch that somehow you're a different person when you are feeling safe and happy.
Some questions for you. How did YOU feel about our date? Did you enjoy yourself on the whole date? Did you enjoy some parts? And, I'm curious what your impressions of me were. Did you enjoy my company? Did you not?
Please be as honest as you like. I can handle the truth.
-J.

And then I canceled my match.com subscription. chefellle200952419844550

Pseudo Chivalry

"april 6
me: you are so right. and i hate when people do that to me. it is like asking me to be my friend on facebook after our first date.

april 22
him: hey. what's new?
me: well did you read my profile? i am looking for love.
and cuddling in the morning.
and you?"

april 27
him: just read rgis again.
very sweet. is it true?
it was nice chatting with you last night.
G
me: of course it is true. easy for all to get out and bring smiles when the mood is in party but its in the morning that the real tenderness sharing is the gift.
him: i agree!

april 28
me: glad you do. what are you looking for?
him: the same as you. cuddling in the evening too though. :)
me: french movies: le pere noel est une ordure, les bronzes et les bronzes font du ski.
to watch between cuddlings;-)
him: ok... let's watch them tonight
me: i don't have les bronzes. u should get it.
him: ok. i have a man and a woman here now.
me: now like in tonight now? i will have say oui for jean louis anouck and deauville oui for nicole. But i had a long day...
him: i meant currently. but i like how you think. would be great to see you.

Frankie, Oh frankie

Frankie, oh frankie..

Elodie:

Thank you for your kind email earlier today. I have been a bit torn as to how to respond to Saturday. I had a really good time and it was fun hearing so much about you. You have led quite a fascinating life so far, and it's great to talk with you.

Alas, I need to be honest and say I did not feel things romantically. Sometimes these things cannot be put in words, it is just a gut feeling, and I do feel badly about it. But I also didn't want to pick up the phone over the past couple of days just to say this outright.

That said, I realize it can be difficult to ask for friendships in these situations, but I sincerely mean it when I say I would enjoy going out again and catching up, either the two of us or with friends. I will leave that up to you, but I do mean it and I am not a person to keep a long list of friends.

Again, I am sorry I did not reach out to you earlier, I hope you understand.

Frank

Elodie:
hi thanks for your reply. gut feeling?
so you must be right ..
to be honest match is not working as i would like it to do.
but why romantically do you mean emotionally physically; chemistry is not
romantically
i don't understand sorry. what is it actually this "romantically" side of
things??
friend, sure i like having guys friends and i enjoy lot of stuff in new york
and it is nicer to do it as a group of people.

Octorug

From: MisterRight2008 (MisterRight2008@talkmatch.com) To: ChefElle (ChefElle@talkmatch.com) Date received: March 27, 2009 Subject: hi There is very few people more attractive than a sexy chef. Where in NYC are you? I'm on UWS. From: MisterRight2008 (MisterRight2008@talkmatch.com) To: ChefElle (ChefElle@talkmatch.com) Date received: March 28, 2009 Subject: RE: RE: hi So you can cook french food and have a french accent. There's really no more I need to know about you, i'm sold. (I'm being a little facetious but those are really big selling points). French food was always my favorite cuisine and when I was in Nice in September I was in heaven every time I stopped off at any random eatery. I still dream of the perfect croissant I found in Vence in the hills behind St Paul. I havent been to Paris yet (or since I was 6 years old which may as well be never) but its next on my list. What brought you here? From: MisterRight2008(MisterRight2008@talkmatch.com) To: ChefElle (ChefElle@talkmatch.com) Date received: March 28, 2009 Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: hi I'm just about to head up to greenwich ct to collect some more stuff. There seems to be a never ending amount of left over stuff to pick up. You have any time over the weekend for a drink? From me to him: Do you mean this weekend? Like today? I could do happy hour. I have a dinner later. If u would like to call I will keep my french accent on 6464113244 Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile Him: Lol u can switch it on and off huh? I never developed an american accent. Â I will call when i know what time i have driving back. Â If its too late maybe we can try tomorrow. Him again: Im home now. Â Happy hour was a bit of a long shot. Â Busy tomorrow? me: Tomorrow I have a lower garden party don't know how late it finish. Yes happy hour was a long shot. That why there is nightcap. Him: I was just getting on email to write you and there you are. Very true about nightcap. Call or text me on 212-844-1234 and I'll come and meet you. From: MisterRight2008 (MisterRight2008@talkmatch.com) To: ChefElle (ChefElle@talkmatch.com) Date received: March 30, 2009 Subject: mondays Phew that was a long day. I wasnt kidding about my mondays, they are always very demanding. I havent put a lot of thought yet into where to go on wednesday night. Do you have any preferences? If not, I'll think of something. I hope you had a good day.

Il a dit on est different
Alors qu'est ce que je sens?
C'est quoi cette attirance, ce besoin de toucher, cette curiosite
Maladive..
Insoutenable ce desir. Quelle menteuse! tas envie de te faire sauter!

Je veux comprendre
Faire tomber le rideau de la scene du spectacle..
Mes reves ta realite.
Un mensonge,
Mon mensonge.
Ma prison
La porte est fermee
Ouvre la.
C'est a moi de le faire.
Premiere histoire match.com: Sami
Je t'ai revu j'etais heureuse juste de te voir encore, que tu sois la avec tes
grands beaux yeux.
Jai oublie les questions.
Oublie les promesses que cette fois-ci sera differente.
Tu es arrive et tu m'as embrasse. Tu etais heureux aussi.
De me voir de me toucher de me regarder.
Tu as demande: rentre avec moi.
Cette fois ci je tai suivi.
Tu as peut etre dit "un dernier verre de vin, un film, la vue sur la ville".
Moi toi on avait envi l'un de l'autre depuis la premiere fois.
Tu m'as retire mes bottes. Je regardais tes grands beaux yeux. Tu etais heureux.
On a fait l'amour. Je ne m'en souviens pas sauf de ta queue oui je l'ai regarde je
voulais me rappeler de ca, sa taille sa forme. Ca ma plu?
J'ai d'abord pense j'ai soif j'ai de l'eau sur ma table de nuit puis j'ai ouvert un
oeil je n'etais pas chez moi c'etait pas ma table de nuit.
La fenetre immense sans rideaux le bureau colle le ciel bleu tres fonce
magnifique de manhattan le silence les dras blancs, la couette blanche, jetais dans
ton lit.
Je me suis retournee tu dormais les cheveux un peu hirsutes la tete enfouite dans
l'oreiller l'edredon enroule autour de ton corps tes bras avec pleins de grains de
beaute je regarde ta chair blanche et fixe tes poils brun roux. Les placards
ouverts quelques vetements pendent des serviettes pliees. Je me leve le soleil se
leve a peine, une ligne orange nait doucement sur les dessus des buildings.
Dans la cuisine grande fenetre sans rideau frigo blanc et l'habituelle solitude
des oeufs du lait du faux beurre de la limonde du nectar d'abricot.
Je me verse un verre d'eau et retourne m'allonger.
Hier si heureux maintenant entre deux moments, j'attends le matin pour savoir
qui sera heureux encore a ton reveil.
Je me douche d'eau froide le soleil tape fort sur l'appart, la chambre, sur moi.
Je me colle a toi et attrape tes bras pour qu'ils m'entourent tu te laisses faire
tes bras m'entourent la taille. Je m'endors le soleil est leve.
La grande fenetre et rien pour se cacher et m'eviter. La peau merdic les boutons
-deshydratation- rougie par les baisers le mascara colle la paupiere lourde rien du
glamour de hier est reste avec moi. Quelle saloperie la beaute.
La gueule de bois tape.
Tes bras sont partis.
Je me retourne. Je me colle a toi et te caresse le dos, ta peau laiteuse blanchatre
et gelatineuse un peu dodue.
Si le soleil est leve c'est le moment de se chauffer un peu pour voir.
Aucune reaction.
La gueule de bois.
Je bois de leau.
Je ne suis plu bien.
Maintenant c'est comment partir sans partir vraiment.
Tu es leve tu fais le cafe je demande un the tu dis rien. Ton pijama trop grand
te tombe sur les fesses je vois la raie. Rien de sexy a ce portrait. Je te regarde
a peine je t'evite je regarde par la fenetre je dis rien a part "des oeufs" et "mes
toasts?" manger..
Tu te douches mets ton jean j'enfile mes bottes c'est les nouvelles a la BBC world
tu attrapes ton chat et tu le caresses. Je vous regarde. Tu peux pas me caresser
le matin. Tu caresses ton chat. Je pense c'est horriblement drole. Tu caresses
ton chat et moi je pense aux envies qui nous ont fuis. Dont on avait tellement
envi. Je suis la je ne te touche pas, plu, trop tard et tu me parles a peine. Tu
ne sais pas quoi faire avec moi. Pourquoi? Quant tu me regardes, je detourne la
tete. La vue du 35eme etage est manifique.
Le lendemain c'est deja loin cette nuit. Juste l'interieur du sex qui picotte un
peu quand je pisse.
Lundi dans la nuit i have a panic attac long time I did not got one.. So strong like
this. Got two drinks before at Jadis with the "boyfriend of the phantom of the
opera". Really. The Actor of Broadway. Tim through match. No chemistry and we only
spoke about the weird dates he had. Women changed got crazy are not complete
a total mess they get drunk and cry. And just said sorry I was drunk.
"I wish she had work harder to get me back"
he finishes, but she was not attracted - did he say attracted? To me.
Mardi matin jecris un email et je l'envoie par le site de match:
Hi I did not have a chance to thank you for saturday night. I did really like
you taking me out where I wanted. I don't know why it was so weird to wake up
with you sunday morning and I felt hangover, and tired. Maybe the chemistry was
good until certain point. I did have a lot to drink and usually what happens is
that I said something odd or rude thinking it is funny and if I did that night I
am sorry. I had a fun time with you and you did put me out of my sad mood of
that week. I hope you are well.
Great email!
His response through match at 8.21 pm same day:
Thanks for your nice email. I'm glad you found some comfort in my company while
you were suffering. As you say, the chemistry did change on the romantic side of
things, but I would like to continue being your friend.
Sami
Me the day after: sure, I would like that to be friend. Now I have to pay for my own drinks..
Him :lol, yes and you're own octupus rugs :)
Me: i pay, i pick cheap dive bar

His match profile "about him":
OMG after that long questionnaire what else is there but to repeat everything i
just answered in long form. Okay, a bit about expectations: I'm not
after anything in particular, I'm just putting myself out there and
whatever happens happens, it could be a brief encounter or it could be
the start of a family. Expectations are best avoided as you don't know
the future and trying to imagine and shape the future only pushes all
the great opportunities away. Still think I'm interesting? Then you're
just as big as a fruit cake as me and you should send me a note letting
me know I'm not alone in this universe.
His religion:
Physics proves that time is relative and is a dimension just like up/down,
left/right, forwards/backwards. That means that every time that ever
was still exists and therefore we don't die, we just have beginning and
ending dimensions to our lives.

we don't die
we don't die
we don't die
we don't die
we don't die
we don't die
we don't die

bonbons cochonnet

cochonou: hola

hello

8 minutes

11:48 AM me: allo

11:49 AM cochonou: oui

ca va?

bien dormi ?

me: bof pas assez

je vais me faire un cafe je reviens

tes la dans 10mn?

11:50 AM alllooooo

11:52 AM cochonou: cherie

11:53 AM fais voir ta p'tite tete du matin

5 minutes

11:58 AM me: oui

11:59 AM cochonou: B-)

12:00 PM me: je vais pas trop parler parce que cest un peu busy aujourdhui

cochonou: oui tu m'avais dis

tu es tres sexy dans ton bureau

12:01 PM me: non mais comme tout le monde se barre bientot

12:02 PM alors cest peu genre derniere minute

voil

cochonou: c'est bientot l'heure du lunch?

12:03 PM pas mal le bas aussi

c'es pour moi?

5 minutes

12:09 PM cochonou:

12:10 PM - Village (1250m) 20cm Neige fraîche 10/12 - 20cm 3/5
3/5
- Arrivée Télécabine (1950m) 45cm Neige fraîche
- Glacier (3250m) 115cm Neige fraîche

13 minutes

12:23 PM me: 11 cest leheure du nescafe

je prefere pas parler

parceque cest pas cool pour les autres qui bosse

cochonou: oki cherie

12:24 PM me: en plus je crois que certains comprennent le francais

et vu que les conneries que je raconte

sont assez betes

ils vont croire que je suis un peu debile

cochonou: oui mais t'as un "i" phone

me: je suis fatguee

cochonou: je vais te faire un massage

me: "e" phone

12:25 PM parecq ue en anglais e

se dit

i

cochonou: oui mais c'est mieux avec un i

me: jy crois pas que je juste

avant de partir de la galeire

je me suis mis dans un projet

12:26 PM cochonou: !

tres chaud!

il va adorer ton boss

me: surtout au chalet

12:27 PM cochonou: les photos!

me: ben oui il est chauffe le chalet

ils ont bien aime mon decolte dimanche

cochonou: et moi et moi et moi

12:28 PM me: ben comme je bois plu faut bien que je trouve un truc a faire

pour attirer lattention

des gens

assez basic

cochonou: vivement le chalet

me: ouais ben surtout la premiere journee

cochonou: et la 2eme?

me: apres 8 heure de ski de hautes montagnes

12:29 PM en general tout le monde recupere

cochonou: moi je vais te recuperer

me: pipo

cochonou: bingo

me: on pari?

combien?

12:30 PM cochonou: welcome

me: ok

combien alors?

cochonou: tu connais pas le i onou

me: bravo

whatever

12:31 PM c quoi le ionou

ca marche a quoi?

cochonou: ca marche avec les doigts

12:32 PM c'est tres con

sorry

me: y en a beaucoup de gens que tu fais rien??

cochonou: a NY 1personne

me: rire

cochonou: dans l'art

me: c je voulais dire rire

12:33 PM cochonou: miam miam miam tu es trop jolie!

me: avec du fromage cest encore meilleur

cochonou: fondu?

12:34 PM me: ta vu y an eu une bombe au printemps

a fond

du

11.20am

12:38 PM cochonou: photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos photos

12:40 PM me: bon

12:41 PM alors

cochonou: back

desole

alors

12:42 PM me: rien c un peu la journee ou jai un million de truc perso a faire

et je suis coincee icic

cochonou: too bad

me: c la vie

12:43 PM en plus jai rien a ramener pour ma famille

cochonou: j'ai fais tous mes cadeaux

me: lhorreur

cochonou: cool

12:44 PM me: tt sera fait a laeroport

12:45 PM cochonou: ma mere

me: bien sur

cochonou: elle veut te connaitre

5 minutes

12:50 PM me: u like sake?

12:51 PM cochonou: sake?

oui

12:52 PM me: arret

jai pas mis le son

cochonou: oki cherie

12:53 PM photo photo

mais t'es vachement bronze

12:54 PM jolie la veste bleu ciel

me: mon patron

non il est tres cool

il va me manquer

je vais lui manquer

cochonou: aussi

12:55 PM velo

12:56 PM me: je fais plu taille 4

cochonou: too bad

une vraie petite cochone

12:57 PM je te laisse travailler cherie, je vais faire du velo ca va me calmer

12:58 PM bisous partout

me: mais nimporte quoi

cochonou: quoi?

me: tu fais du velo

pour le sport

12:59 PM pas pour te calmer

pfu

cochonou: les deux

apres toi pas le choix

joke

me: un peu plus de beurre

non non

cochonou: i joke

me: jaime bien quand tu me beurre la tartine

cochonou: oss

me: tu comprends?

cochonou: 117

me: meme pas

cochonou: si si

1:00 PM me: mon patron est du humeur

con

alors

ce beurrage

1:01 PM plus

encore

1:03 PM cochonou: serieuse!

mais craquante!

1:04 PM cheriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie

je dois me sauver

me: bye

cochonou: noooooooooooooooooooooooon

me: essaye de pas trop bouffer de sanglier

c mignon un sanglier

pis ils ton t rien fait

cochonou: je vais manger des carottes

me: alors que le poulet

1:05 PM miamia

lapin

je vois

bon jai faim

cochonou: miam miam

me: bon velo

je me demande si tu transpire un peu quand meme

cochonou: oki oki merci cherie

liquide!

une eponge

me: a ce point??

1:06 PM cochonou: oui comme un con sur son velo

me: ca fait sauna

chez toi

cochonou: dans 10 jours je t'embrasse

non

me: ca pas gange

gagne

cochonou: j'adore les challanges

me: avec un a

1:07 PM comme challange

ben super

cochonou: du gui du gui du gui partout

me: je crois pas ca marche chez les juifs

cochonou: on va essayer on sait jamais

1:08 PM me: bien sur ca va etre rigolo

petit rigolo

cochonou: lui meme

me: allez va faire ton velo

cochonou: j'y vais cheriiiiiiiiiiiiiie

bye bye

jolie NYaise

1:09 PM me: ok

bye

55 minutes

2:05 PM me: cheri

cochonou: Photo photo...

me: attend mon rendez vous vient de finir

cochonou: Je vais mourir sur ce putain de vélo!

me: allons

texager pas un peu

2:06 PM cochonou: Déjà 35 min

Si un peu

2:07 PM me: ca il neige

video?

video?

le song

limage

et mes eins

seins

tout doux

il neige des gros flocons

on dirai des morceaux de cotons

cochonou: Hummm

2:08 PM me: on va avoir 2 incches

un voeu

cochonou: Oui! Toi

2:09 PM me: un voeu parcequ cest la premiere neige de l'hiver

c beau

2:10 PM cochonou tes tombe du velo

tu tes pas fai mal

2:11 PM cochonou :-D oui

Dans tes bras!

me: encore

cest du rechaufee

cette blague

2:14 PM cochonou: Oui mais la mon cerveau fait du vélo!

2:17 PM me: ben cest pas la cervelle qu'on suce

2:18 PM ca aussi cest durechauffe

2:20 PM cochonou: Oui c'est vrai

49 min!

2:21 PM me: c bien che

alors on a la fesse dure?

2:23 PM molle?

2:24 PM je plaisante

cest le molletq ui est muscle

2:25 PM cochonou: Et les fesses sont détruites

2:26 PM me: tes fache?

je plaisantais

bon je vais manger des gateaux

comem ca on sera pareil

2:28 PM ha ha noon

et pis je veux mettre une robe moulante pour le 31.

2:29 PM cochonou: Et moi je veux te l'enlever!

me: impossible

2:30 PM cochonou: Tout est possible :-)

2:31 PM me: je passe la nuit dans un bain moussant

2:32 PM cochonou: Quand?

me: bientot

2:33 PM et toi

2:34 PM cochonou: Et moi dans un bain?

me: :-o

2:35 PM cochonou: Hello :-p

2:36 PM me: ca y est tas les doigts carres a force dappuyer sur les touches

parce q hello :P ca veut rien

dire

cest just facile en ecrire

2:37 PM cochonou: Mais la langue c'est pour toi.

Joke

me: cochon

2:38 PM cochonou: J'ai fais mon heure de vélo.

me: ben ca tas bien calmer je vois

cochonou: Oui mais de moins en moins gros

Oui c'est vrai

me: tetais vraiment gros?

2:39 PM cochonou: Il y à 1 heure oui

me: tes con

gros et con

cochonou: C'est d'avoir arrêté de fumer qui m'a fait prendre quelques kilos

me: ah les excuses

2:40 PM cochonou: Oui mais tu m

me: tu sais ou tu peux te les metrre tes excuses

cochonou: Dans ton...

2:41 PM me: oui?

mais encore?

tas du me confondre avec therese

2:42 PM cochonou: :-o

me: :-|

cochonou: Je ne pensais pas du tout à ça

me: :'(

cochonou: Moi qui parlais d'amour

me: muel

2:43 PM oups

wrong window

alors la pas du tout

2:44 PM jai faim

alors comme ca..

2:45 PM cochonou: 1

J'ai perdu le fils

2:46 PM Cherie?

Sors de ton bain!

2:49 PM me: et la fille?

cochonou: La fille?

me: joke

cochonou: Ha ha ha ha ha

2:50 PM Mais t'es une petite drôle toi.

5 minutes

2:55 PM me: ces lenfer il neige et plu rien ne marche ici

le telephone est mort

2:57 PM je suis entrain de mengeuler

2:58 PM cochonou: Back

Pas vu ton dernier message

me: je vais le tuer

2:59 PM cochonou: Ton boss

me: ouii

cochonou: ?

Le pauvre!

Pourquoi?

3:00 PM me: y menerve

3:01 PM cochonou: Fais attention! T'es super sexy quand tu t'énerves

me: jeme barrrrrre

fucj u

cochonou: :-D

me: fuck you

3:02 PM cochonou: C'est chaud l'art

3:03 PM me: com moi

cochonou: Arrête!

me: ok

finalement

cochonou: Non!

3:04 PM Encore

3:05 PM me: non

cochonou: Ok

3:06 PM me: ben u give up asily

cochonou: Oui

3:07 PM me: wow

cetait facile

ok

tu cherche a menerver?

3:08 PM cochonou: Oui

:-D

me: just quan je suis bien enerver et je gueule avec mon boss

bravo cochonou

tes un vrai chef

a patisserie

bab

baba

au rhum

tes tro con

je vais te planter une fourchette dans tes fesses dodues

3:09 PM cochonou: Mais tu aimer

me: ?

parle francais si te plai

cochonou: Aimes

:-P

3:10 PM J'ai envie de t'attacher

3:11 PM Et te faire des trucs degueulasses

3:14 PM Bon ma petite cherie toute énervée! Je te biz et je te laisse.

3:15 PM N'oublie pas de m'envoyer les photos d'elodie belle de nuit.

3:16 PM me: non

tes pas gentil

cochonou: Baisé doux doux doux.

me: Et te faire des trucs degueulasses

explique

cochonou: Cochone :-D

3:17 PM Je t'adore

Tu aimerais bien!

3:18 PM Et ben non! Pas envie.

Bye bye bonbon.